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Friday, August 18, 2006

Nisargadatta Maharaj's book "I AM THAT"

I got back to the basics, reading I AM THAT

I quote from page 66
Dive deep within and find what is real in you......
Even if I tell you that you are the witness, the silent watcher, it will mean nothing to you, unless you find the way to your own being.

Give up all the questions except one: "WHO AM I?". After all, the only fact you are sure of is that you ARE.

Further - his discussion on desire

Desires are just waves in the mind. .... Because you imagine that you were born, and that you will die if you do not take care of your body. Desire for embodied existence is the root-cause of trouble.
(What is the purpose of taking a body form then?) To know itself the self must be faced with its opposite - the not-self. .....By forgetting who you are and imagining yourself a mortal creature, you created so much trouble for yourself that you have to wake up, like from a bad dream.

Detaching myself from all worldy attachments, I do sense the lack of control we have, the fears and the insecurities that bind our day to day living. And, it makes total sense to surrender and just live. Like boarding a plane and placing our bags in the overhead compartment - not holding onto them - life is about not carrying our fears with us, but letting go and just living. But, there is an inner urge to stay in control, to hold onto those fears, and not letting go, being enslaved by them to ensure that we can forecast and circumvent the troubles. There is a strong desire to never go into surrender mode, as we fear the repercussions / outcome of that. But, if the results are never really in our control, why fret? But then, we do want to feel like we are in control of our destiny don't we? I fear, that surrender, might make me desireless and the zeal to excel will be taken away from me. But then, life should continue inspite of that, and I think I understand that too, but yet again, I fear surrendering, I do want to dwell upon the desires and mapping out a roadmap to fulfilling them, though I have no control over the end results. Some of the desires get fulfilled, and with greater zeal, I pursue others. A vicious cycle of sort. I think I do understand, that I may still achieve them, if I had 'placed my bags in the overhead compartment' but I am entrapped by so many years of training, through the visual appeal that the world beckoned, seduced and entrapped me with.

That always reminds me of theclassic FATE versus FREE will (and I still don't get it). If I had no control, how can I use my will power to change my fate? So why do I have a will power, when I really have no control? So, would the world survive in case we didn't exert our will? Would we be less successful in case we didn't exert our will? Would it be part of our destiny to be less successful as we suddenly realized at this juncture in life that we don't have control, so we are going to stop exerting our will power to drive ourselves to succeed? Will that dramatically change my life for the worse? That does scare me. Which leads me to the fact that I really do not buy into the Plane, luggage theory. And I don't, probably because I don't know myself as THAT. That is the ONE thing that Jack Palance was referring to Billy Crystal in City Slickers - I think.


Here is the classic discussion on FATE versus FREE WILL
http://www.srisharada.com/QA/FATE%20AND%20FREE.htm

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This blog is an offshoot of a website that I had conceived as a result of the spiritual grace and resultant inspiration during Shivaratri Y2K (http://www.jyotirlinga.com) on the joy of Shiva Bhakti and my quest for spiritual progress. Not finding the time (yep, bad excuse!), this blog suits me fine in quickly adding content... my spiritual forays and thoughts - helps log them too. My spiritual journey started with Hinduism and it's simple stories/ teachings as far back as when I was a 2nd grader, with Lord Shiva and has now found convergence with Advaitism / Duality. The Advaitism gurus like Bhagwan Ramana Maharishi, Nisargadatta Maharaj; they have provided that spiritual boost of energy in many lagging moments and have tremendously influenced me ... little baby steps at a time... that will hopefully all lead upto a final crescendo. The merits of satsangh are many!

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